It´s me, Chris!
I used to be a very creative kid. I spent hours with painting, Legos and I even wrote little stories just for the writing´s sake. Summarized one could say I just loved to make my thoughts and ideas appear outside of myself. I tried books. But they were not as fun as creating something on my own.
At about the age of thirteen things changed. Puberty hit me hard. Creativity left. Videogames, skateboaring and not giving a single fuck about anything else came.
Meanwhile I struggeld myself through school and achieved an average degree. Laziness. A truly heavy burden.
I´m still trying to get rid of it. Tomorrow.
At seventeen (2012) I joined the german military. It was a big dream. The only one. Becoming an Astronaut doesn´t count I guess. So I absolved a paratrooper training and served for four years. No missions. Just training. Cleaning. And doing nothing. Neither I regret this episode, nor would I do it again. Things change. So my attitude towards the military does.
When I finished my service I applied to an educators school.
Things went quite well.
But things shouldn´t go well for too long. Through many unfortunate circumstances and events I uncounciously slid into a deep hole full of worries, problems and self-allegations.
I quit school, the side job I had and lived from my savings.
Creating more and more porblems…
There was no motivation or perspective to hold on to.
But endless nights without shutting an eye and infinite thoughts
rushing through my head attempting to figure out anything that would satisfy myself, anything useful, passionate.
Crises are for learning
Certainly it was a rough time.
But a time I learned the most about myself as well.
I discovered an enormous affection for philosophy, psychology and later on for spirituality. I devoured books and videos, but most of all I made my own thoughts about these subjects, connecting ideas I gathered in different sources, enhanced them in a way it made sense to me.
A book was my escape
While getting in touch with spirituality I stumbled upon Eckart Tolle.
His presentations were facinating me. The deep and for some perhaps uncomfortable truth he is conveying was bonding me.
His book “The power of now” ultimately kicked my ass out of my cave.
Where Am I Now?
By now I am 24 years old, working as delivery man for candy.
A candyman so to say.
I´m contented and actually like to work. Thanks to a new mindset.
But this is actually just a means for purpose.
Most of my payment I am saving to effort the first journey.
I suppose the crisis was necessary to end up where I am now. Obviously.
I believe all this trouble is leading me in a direction that correlates more with my nature.
Just letting things flow.
I won´t become an educator and most likely I won´t climb any career-ladder.
Maybe I´ll just go my own way. Create my own path.
My interpretation of living a life changed dramatically.
I realized money and material wealth won´t bring any long-term satisfaction. Unfortunately I need money to come around like all of us do. But I won´t live the “It´s all about the money-mentality”.
Exploring the world, cultures, spirituality and what it means to be a living human beeing is what my emphasis will be.
I am not illuminated, nor do I claim to know more than others.
Rather I need to work on myself,
get rid of bad habits and keep changing the way I think.
But there is a deep need to find out what´s beneath the surface of
our superficial perspective onto Life and its Conciousness.
Imageraza is a journey
In roundabout one year from now I will begin to travel.
I will share my experiences here and in videos.
The to-do list is pretty much infinite. It reaches from Interviews, to living with autonomous communities and everything in between.
In the meantime I will concretize my thoughts and opinions in articles and produce some prequel videos.
I´m super excited already. But the candyman has do to his duty a few more months! 😉
Feel free to join the journey. I appreciate it.